Most bedroom problems boil down to this: Men are microwaves and women are slow cookers.

With men, all you have to do is push a few buttons and we’re hotter than a habanero. But with women, it’s an all-day process. You have to buy the ingredients, mix them together, and then put everything in the pot and let it simmer … and simmer … and simmer.

That’s why we’re offering a microwave mentality for the Crock-Pot reality: quick, easy things you can do to make her heating speeds better match yours. Our suggestions take anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. The payoff? They’ll quickly adjust her thermostat to high heat.

Embrace Her Until She Ends It
Good kissing tops most women’s lists of turn-ons, but don’t underestimate the heating power of a great hug, especially when she initiates it. Let her know how much you savor it. Make it clear you don’t want the hug to end.

Wear Her Name
Women love to hear men use their names. The more unexpected the place—like in the middle of a sentence—the better. Better still, write her name on your shoulder, your hand, or anyplace she’ll have a chance of spotting it. It’s a tattoo without pain—one that gives only pleasure. It will make her laugh and think you’re so adorable. It says, ‘You matter.’

Whisper into Her Ear
In public, at a party, tell her what you want to do to her later: Tonight, I’m going to make you have as many orgasms as possible. For women, anticipating it can be as exciting as the actual event.

Skip the Flowers
Blooms at the office are overdone. If you want to stand out, send a card instead. “It’s really the thoughtful things you do at nonsexual times that make a woman want you. Go with a thank-you. Write out a few things you’ve never thanked her for—making breakfast on Sunday, cleaning your stubble out of the sink. An appreciated woman during the day is an appreciative woman at night.

Plant a Picture
Stash a photo of her in your wallet. She’ll deny it, but all women rummage at some point. You might as well turn it to your advantage.

Say Why
Anyone can say, “I love you,” so explain why. Maybe it’s the way she nibbles at a KitKat, or how her nose scrunches when she drinks tequila. The more unique your reasons, the more special she’ll feel.

Get Your Story Straight
For a happy ending (tonight and every night), remember the beginning: the details of your first meeting—where you were, what she was wearing, what you said, and how you felt. Recount them. Often.

Make Yourself Sick
Leave love notes around the house—in the fridge, on the bathroom mirror, under her pillow. That much sweetness might make you nauseous, but it’ll make her feel like a lovesick teenager.

Kiss and Lick Her Hinges
You’ve got the obvious kiss spots covered. Now concentrate your efforts elsewhere—on her elbows, knees, shoulders, ankles, neck, and hip joints. They’re rarely attended to with long caresses. It’s a super sensation. See if you can make her come unhinged.

Try the No-Move Move
When you start foreplay, tell her you’re not going to move on to another action until she tells you what to do next. This works physically and mentally: It’s a way to encourage her to open up and direct you to what she really wants. Now, your turn.

Give Her Chills
Cold is sensed by more nerve endings than mere touch can reach, so you’re expanding her range of response. Do this: Chill a bunch of grapes for at least 20 minutes. Then trail a small sprig of them along her neck, nipples, and inner thighs. Nibble away. Now put a grape in your mouth and gently press it against her clitoris by holding it in your teeth or between your lips.

Make a Bedroom Burrito
Bondage is appealing for a good reason: It heightens the anticipation for the one who’s receiving the pleasure. But anything with locks, Velcro, or ties can freak her out (us, too), so try this: While you’re rolling around in bed, wrap her up in the sheet so she can’t do anything with her arms. Leave her head, shoulders, and lower legs uncovered. Now kiss every inch of exposed skin. It’s simple, spontaneous, and soft-core.

Blindfold Yourself
Many women who are insecure about their bodies stick to the missionary position because you can’t see their bodies that way. If you really can’t see her because your eyes are covered, she’ll do a lot more with you, to you, and for you.

Before you enter her, ask if it’s okay. Some women find it incredibly endearing. It gives them a sense of respect. It gives them the security to become more sexually relaxed. And when you’re first entering her, kiss her lips or caress her face. Give her stimulation in addition to penetration.

Practice Reentry
After you first enter her, do it again—slowly. Repeat it over and over. One of the huge turn-ons is anticipation. Don’t pull out all the way, but when you pull almost all the way out, she gets the anticipation of the stroke that comes back in.”

Do It in Public
Or just pretend. Exhibitionism is a secret thrill for many women, but the threat of arrest deters them. So have sex standing up, with her near the bedroom window. It’s easy to duck out of the way. If she’s semiclothed, your neighbors will be none the wiser.

Call a Squeeze Play
With her facedown and you on top, have her cross her legs, and position yours outside of hers. Her vagina will feel tighter, and the added friction means more pleasure.

Get Bigger
When you’re on top, place her legs over your shoulders. This shortens her vaginal canal, so your penis feels bigger inside her.

Stand by Your Woman
For better from-behind sex, have her kneel on the edge of the bed with her upper chest touching the mattress. This elongates the vaginal barrel, making it feel tighter. You get a fantastic view, and she’ll enjoy the nipple stimulation from rubbing the mattress.

Make It Easy
For oral sex, stand while your partner kneels or sits on the bed. This angle lets her take more of you, gives her better control, and is less tiring.

Leave a Reply